Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
