I bet he comes in French.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
this hospital has no fireball
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
