addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
