can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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