we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
