you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
