hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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