I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize