Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
