I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize