i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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