Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
