I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
