hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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