And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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