I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
