Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
