OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
