I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
