Dual....:-)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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