Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
