we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i dont even know how to be here
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
