i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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