if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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