Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
