nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Randomize
