I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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