Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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