Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
