I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize