I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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