i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
