Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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