Well douche your snatch and let's go!
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
