Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
