Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
