I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
