Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
