i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
