I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
