Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
