Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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