I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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