So drunk its hurt
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
