Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so explain again why im purple
no
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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