HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
