he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
