he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
