I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
