Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
