3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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