Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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