im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
