Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He passed out mid-signature
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
