The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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