You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
