Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
