Girls should come with a carfax report
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
