Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
