Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He uses pillows to masturbate.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
