Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why do cheetos always look like penises
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
